As I was listening to this song this morning I found myself honestly saying, “will I follow you?”
“Am I following you? and How do I follow you?”
We can only answer those questions for ourselves and with much prayer. Some days the answers are clear as a bell and others they are muddied by the waters of the world. Stinky, smelly and rancid. Ewww.
I don’t know- yesterday I spent a lot of time reading about the injustice in Sudan, Darfur and other areas of the world. Today my heart aches. I am sad. I can’t change the things of the world but I can try to make the world a little better place by doing my part. That’s the hard part. Trying to figure out what my PART is.
When my heart is troubled and turmoiled for God’s people and I question life- I have a friend who says, ” draw, Donna, just draw. That’s what you do.” So I draw. Sometimes it isn’t pretty. Sometimes what I feel comes out in a shocking way-even shocking to myself. Those are the drawings I don’t share. They hurt too much.
The song says, “There’s a raging sea right in front of me, wants to pull me in, bring me to my knees, so let the waters rise if you want them to. I will follow you. I will follow you.”
We have to give up ourselves in order to get what God see’s as the BEST for our lives. Giving up what I want is never easy. I have had to give up several things in the past few weeks in order to get what God wants. Who knew that giving up those things would be this hard? I’ve been seeing things through my eyes and not my family’s eyes. I’ve not been here when I should have been and that deeply saddens me because I have hurt my family. Are we really supposed to sacrifice our family to follow God? I don’t think so because God is all about family. He adopts us into His family when we accept Christ as our Savior. He created man and woman so they could populate the earth WITH families. We ARE the family of God. Family is important.
We are to put God first and then our family. But how do we know when it’s too much? I feel like I have spent the past several years with blinders on-only seeing what I thought God was asking me to do. Today I am not so sure that I was doing what God wanted- but what Donna wanted. That doesn’t make me feel very good. The song says, ” God I trust in you…you were faithful before, you will be faithful again, I’m holding your hand…”
So today, I’m doing a new thing…I’m letting GO and letting GOD. He’s holding my hand wherever I go, He will be my guiding light, he will fill my mouth with His words and wisdom, my heart with his love and my hands with his grace.
I WILL follow you.